I’ve Been Dumped | What’s it like to get back on my feet

For as long as I can remember, I have required regular doctor / medical care due to chronic illness. I’ve always had to make time and prioritize my appointments, often scheduling everything around them. My lung doctor is my “main squeeze” for the most part, visiting every other week for my Xolair shots and a general check-up.

Vajinky Freedom
Since December 2015, I added the gynecologist to my list of regular visits when I had that painful episode and had to seek medical attention after almost three years of ignoring pain. I had two operations in 2016 and I think I was at my gynecologist’s office at least once a month. Sometimes twice a week, depending on the problem. About two months ago, I was visiting for both my annual visit and as a check up to my surgeries. I’d still been having some pain and discomfort six months ago that was lingering. During the examination and our conversation, my doctor was happy to report that all the challenges I’d had over the last two years were finally better! I received the “thumbs up” and he told me I didn’t need to go back until the regular annual check up next year! You can imagine how elated I was at that moment, I had been seriously struggling since 2013 and this was quite amazing news!!

Metatarsal and Sexy Boots
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart…just kidding. I don’t have a heart. Anyways, last year on the 25th of December, Mocha (my running and drinking buddy), broke my foot. I ended up with a metatarsal fracture on the right foot and wore a CAM boot for four months. I couldn’t drive, couldn’t walk, couldn’t carry anything unless it would go in a backpack. During that time, my right leg got skinny and my ass got fat. A good friend referred me to a great Orthopedic doctor, actually, if I’m honest he’s a great doctor and the best dressed in Dallas / Fort Worth! You should see his shoes! Anyways, he and his PA would see me every 4 – 5 weeks to reconfirm that my foot was an asshole and my dog an even bigger asshole. After getting the boot off, I still had to visit the orthopedic doctor for injections, check ups, to find out I have arthritis and to treat tendinitis which still looms today.

At the beginning of this week, a few weeks shy of my “one year anniversary of the injury,” Dr Best Dressed in DFW examined my foot – found places that still hurt, told me to alternate walking and jogging, told me to ice it afterwards and finished with “we’ll see you in three months! Have a nice Christmas!” I sat there, in the “Gretzky Room,” a little dumbfounded. Three months? But, I’ve been here every month for almost a year…I felt rejected!

The Nose Knows
In 2015, my lung doctor strongly encouraged me to seek medical attention for my nose. Not because she thought it was ugly and crooked, but because the airways were severely blocked and I couldn’t breathe very well. If you know asthma, you know that breathing is important…so, my friend referred me to another great specialist in Fort Worth whom I started “seeing” in November 2016. Because of the incredibly supportive healthcare in ‘Murica, the health insurance denied my surgery twice. I think it’s because they know better than a doctor who’s actually examining me in person. We didn’t give up and had to write letters, get CT scans and get subsequent documentation to prove to the penny pushers that my surgery wasn’t just a fun thing to do. After about six months, my approval finally came through and I had surgery at the end of June.

Naturally, things are rarely “routine” with any procedure for me so I was at his office every few weeks for check ups and his very strange methods. It’s awkward, I would sit in this chair and he would just stare at my face and I’m thinking “I know! I’m aging! I need a face lift and my nose is HUGE!” Then, he sticks this camera up each nostril and I want to vomit, not to mention that after surgery it’s un-freaking-comfortable! Then he puts his instrument away and tells me things look good, starts pressing my nose and makes me want to pass out; sees my discomfort, hands me a tissue and lets me breathe before telling to “press this bump right there…” (as he’s pressing there are tears in my eyes, pain searing through my face and I’m thinking ‘what a jerk!’)  “for 10 minutes a day until the next time I see you….” (in my mind: I’m never coming back and WTF…this isn’t medicine! What’s this ‘press here’ crap?) Well, Dr. Make-Me-Cry was right…within the timeframe he’d given, the bump went away. Each appointment became easier but my nose still hurts 6 ½ months later – he told me not to worry because with the extent of my operation, the pain could last at least a year. Then he put two injections in the side of my nose and left me sobbing like a small child.  Did I mention he’s got perfect bedside manner and is always positive and optimistic?! Actually, he’s a very good doctor…and Canadian (which makes him an almost perfect doctor).

At the beginning of this week, Dr Make-Me-Cry checked my nose inside and out, told me that the sinus infection I’d gotten just before the American Thanksgiving was getting better and proceeded to tell me to press yet another spot to smoothen it out and finished with “OK! See you in two months!” I sat there feeling lost, rejected, sad, hopeless – DUMPED! I just got dumped for the third time! WTF!

Medically Single
For the record, Dr Best Dressed and Dr Make-Me-Cry dumped me on the same day! The same freaking day! As I drove home after my appointment with my ENT, I had mixed feelings. I had been anticipating this day for so long and suddenly it was here. I didn’t feel that excitement and “freedom” I expected. Instead, it felt more like separation anxiety and I could relate to our poor dog, Marley, when I leave for the day and she thinks her life has ended. I felt lost. The last year of my life was shared with these two doctors and has been a medical blur and now I’m free? The last two years were shared with my gynecologist and he also said I was healthy…wow.

Don’t get me wrong, illness and injury are not who I am…the last few years have been full of so many challenges for me and my family that unfortunately, I got used to the cycle. To find out that I had been patient enough, followed the advice of the doctors and finally considered “healthy” was pretty awesome but being medically “single” is a little difficult for me at the moment! I know I’ll adjust and it’s ok, they want me back in a couple of months for check ups!

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